Feeling Paralyzed by Fear? Try These 5 Powerful Steps

February 15, 2025

Fear is one of the most paralyzing emotions we experience. It can keep us stuck, overthinking, and unable to take action in areas of our lives that truly matter—whether it’s our careers, relationships, or personal growth. But fear isn’t the enemy. In fact, fear is a signal. It’s our body and mind trying to tell us something important.

If we learn to listen to fear rather than run from it, we can actually use it as a tool for growth. That’s where the C.F.A.C.E. Method comes in—a simple yet powerful approach to identifying, processing, and overcoming fear in a healthy and productive way.

Let’s break it down:

What is the C.F.A.C.E. Method?

C.F.A.C.E. stands for:

C - SASHET Check-in – Identify what emotions are underneath the fear.
F - Find & Name It – Clearly define what you’re afraid of.
A - Assess & Challenge It – Separate fact from fear by questioning its reality.
C - Create a Plan & Act – Take small, deliberate steps toward the fear.
E - Envision Success – Picture yourself overcoming the fear and thriving.

This method gives you a structured way to break down fear, rather than letting it dictate your life. Now, let’s go deeper into each step.

Step 1: C - SASHET Check-In (Understanding the Root of Fear)

Before addressing fear directly, it’s crucial to check in with yourself. Fear often masks deeper emotions—like sadness, anger, or even excitement. By using the SASHET check-in, you can uncover what’s truly going on beneath the fear.

Take a moment to ask yourself:

Am I actually afraid, or is this another emotion disguised as fear?
What am I feeling besides fear? (Sad, Angry, Scared, Happy, Excited, Tender)
What event or situation triggered this emotion?

Example: You’re afraid to have a difficult conversation with your boss. But after doing a SASHET check-in, you realize you’re actually feeling angry because you feel undervalued at work.

Recognizing the true emotion behind fear allows you to deal with the root issue, not just the symptom.

Step 2: F - Find & Name It (Identifying Your Fear)

Now that you’ve checked in with yourself, the next step is to clearly define your fear. Fear thrives in vagueness, so the more specific you are, the easier it is to manage.

Ask yourself:

What exactly am I afraid of?
Why does this fear exist?
Is it a fear of failure? Rejection? The unknown?

Example: Instead of saying, “I’m scared about work,” define it further: “I’m afraid that if I ask for a raise, I’ll be rejected and feel embarrassed.”

By naming your fear, you bring it into the light, making it less intimidating.

Step 3: A - Assess & Challenge It (Separating Fact from Fear)

Fear often thrives on assumptions and worst-case scenarios. The mind loves to exaggerate threats, making them feel much bigger than they actually are.

To challenge your fear, ask yourself:

What’s the worst that could realistically happen?
How likely is that worst-case scenario?
What’s the best-case scenario?

Example: You fear asking for a raise. The worst-case scenario? Your boss says no. The best case? You get a raise! In reality, rejection isn’t life-threatening—it’s just uncomfortable.

Often, fear isn’t based on reality—it’s based on our assumptions. By challenging these assumptions, we take away fear’s power.

Step 4: C - Create a Plan & Act (Taking Small Steps Forward)

Once you’ve assessed your fear, it’s time to take action. Fear loses its grip when we take small, deliberate steps toward it rather than avoiding it.

Steps to take:

Break the fear into small actions – If you’re afraid of public speaking, start by practicing in front of a friend.
Build momentum – Small wins help you gain confidence.
Prepare for obstacles – If things don’t go perfectly, adjust and keep moving forward.

Example: If you’re afraid of asking for a raise, don’t go straight to the big conversation. Start small: research industry salaries, build a case for why you deserve it, and rehearse the conversation with a friend.

Action builds confidence. The more you face fear, the weaker it becomes.

Step 5: E - Envision Success (Visualizing the Outcome)

Fear loves to paint worst-case scenarios in your head. But what if you flipped the script?

Instead of imagining failure, imagine success. Close your eyes and visualize:

How will you feel once you’ve faced your fear?
What positive outcomes could come from taking action?
What kind of man do you need to be to overcome this fear?

Example: Imagine confidently asking for that raise and walking out of the meeting feeling proud, regardless of the outcome.

The mind is powerful—when you train it to focus on success rather than fear, your actions follow.

Let’s Put It Into Practice: Example Scenario

Imagine Mike, a father who’s afraid of switching careers because he worries about financial instability. Here’s how he uses the C.F.A.C.E. Method:

C - SASHET Check-In: He realizes his fear isn’t just about money—it’s about feeling unworthy of a better job.
F - Find & Name It: He defines his fear: “I’m afraid of leaving my job because I might fail in a new career.”
A - Assess & Challenge It: He asks, “What’s the worst case?” He might struggle initially, but he won’t lose everything.
C - Create a Plan & Act: He takes a small step by updating his resume and applying for just one job.
E - Envision Success: He pictures himself in a fulfilling new job, providing for his family while doing work he enjoys.

Within weeks, Mike has interviews lined up. His fear didn’t go away, but he learned to move forward despite it.

Your Action Step

Now it’s your turn. Pick one fear you’ve been avoiding and run it through the C.F.A.C.E. Method.

Write down what you’re afraid of.
Challenge the fear—how realistic is it?
Take one small step toward facing it.
Visualize yourself overcoming it.

Fear isn’t a sign to stop. It’s a sign to lean in, grow, and take action.

Final Thoughts

The C.F.A.C.E. Method isn’t about eliminating fear—it’s about learning to face it with confidence. Every time you confront fear instead of running from it, you build emotional strength and resilience.

If you’re looking for more tools to navigate anxiety and fear, check out The Anxious Father Workbook and join the Legacy Father Online Community for support from other dads on the same journey.

Fear doesn’t define you—your actions do. Take the first step today.