As a dad, I often find myself juggling the demands of work, parenting, and trying to maintain a strong relationship with my wife. At Legacy Father, I know how crucial it is to nurture my marriage while raising a family. In this blog post, I want to share some of the challenges I face in finding time with my wife and offer four strategies that have helped me prioritize our relationship amidst the chaos of family life.

Challenges of Finding Time with My Spouse

1. Co-Sleeping

We chose co-sleeping as a way to bond with our children and ensure they get the comfort and reassurance they need at night. However, this arrangement makes it difficult for my wife and me to have our own space and time together. It often feels like our child is always present, leaving little room for intimacy or quiet conversations before bed.

2. Raising a Toddler

Raising a toddler is no small feat. They are energetic, curious, and require constant attention. From early morning wake-ups to bedtime routines, parenting a toddler can be exhausting. After a long day, I often find myself prioritizing rest over spending time with my wife. The endless demands of raising a young child can sometimes make it feel like there’s no time left for each other.

3. Balancing Work and Family Life

Balancing work commitments with family time adds an extra layer of complexity. My professional responsibilities often leave little room for quality moments with my wife. When I finally have a free moment, I might feel too tired or distracted to truly connect.

Strategies for Gaining More Time with My Wife

Despite these challenges, I’ve found ways to create more opportunities for connection with my wife. Here are four strategies that have helped me prioritize our relationship:

1. Schedule Regular Date Nights

One of the most effective ways I’ve found to ensure we have dedicated time together is by scheduling regular date nights. These don't have to be elaborate outings; even a simple dinner at home without distractions can be meaningful. We set a specific night each week or month for a date and stick to it as we would any important appointment. Whether it’s hiring a babysitter, asking family for help, or planning a special activity once the kids are asleep, having this time set aside helps us reconnect and focus on each other.

2. Create a Bedtime Routine for Our Toddler

Establishing a consistent bedtime routine for our toddler has been crucial in ensuring they go to bed at a reasonable hour, giving my wife and me time to relax together in the evenings. We created a calming routine that includes activities like reading, bathing, or listening to soothing music. This helps our toddler wind down and fall asleep more easily, freeing up time for us to unwind, talk, or enjoy a quiet evening.

3. Use Technology to Stay Connected

In today’s busy world, technology has become a powerful tool for staying connected with my wife, even when we can’t be together physically. I use messaging apps to send sweet or funny texts throughout the day, or we set up a weekly video call if one of us is traveling. Sharing little moments and updates helps us feel more connected and invested in each other’s lives, even when time is limited.

4. Find a Trusted Care Provider

Finding a reliable care provider you trust can make a significant difference in securing time alone with your spouse. Whether it's a family member, a trusted babysitter, or a professional childcare service, having someone dependable to watch your children allows you to step away confidently. This can enable you and your spouse to enjoy a night out, a weekend getaway, or even just a few hours of alone time without worrying about your child's well-being.

Conclusion

Finding time for your marriage amidst the demands of parenting can be challenging, but it’s crucial for maintaining a strong and healthy relationship. By scheduling regular date nights, creating a consistent bedtime routine for your toddler, using technology to stay connected, and finding a care provider you can trust, you can carve out meaningful moments with your spouse.

Remember, nurturing your partnership is not only beneficial for you and your wife, but it also sets a positive example for your children about the importance of love and commitment. At Legacy Father, we encourage you to prioritize your marriage and create lasting memories with your family.

If you want support in this place of your life, check out our online community of supportive dads becoming the fathers they are meant to be.